Politics and politicians herd us like sheep into a protective ‘national’ net that restricts and exploits us rather than allow us to utilise our strengths.
It has now been nearly three months since my naani (maternal grandmother) reunited with her brother and sister. They were separated in October 1947. Witnessing the two sisters meet for the first time after that, yards forward of the family home in Mendhar (District Poonch in Indian-administered Kashmir), was nothing short of an epiphany for me.
I spent the last 22 of my 37 years trying to make this happen, and for the most part, it seemed an unattainable dream. Since April 2005, staying put in Pakistan-administered Kashmir — I came down from the United Kingdom — was my only means to ensure my dream was attained.
In these four years, two months and 11 days of my adamant insistence that this reunion must take place, it was just good fortune that old age and chronic health issues did not take any of the three siblings beyond return and India and Pakistan did not embark on a nuclear holocaust despite Mumbai.
Week after week, I watched divided families benefit from the cross-LOC bus service, except mine. The phenomenon of Chinese goods moving easier across the LOC than divided families, even the societal disgrace of not pursuing a living — nothing — absolutely nothing, tempted me to forego my project.
It was an angst-ridden period, but it gave me ample opportunity to examine human relationships and analyse the way politics and politicians herd us like sheep into a protective ‘national’ net that restricts and exploits us rather than allow us to utilise our strengths. I still find it difficult to believe that the impossible has occurred.
It is a bizarre coincidence that I am writing from an inner suburb of Rawalpindi, namely Arjun Nagar. Adjoining this is Mohalla Mohan Pura. As the names suggest, these localities have strong Hindu origins where, prior to the bloody partition of 1947, most of the residents here would have been of the Hindu faith, their heritage perhaps dating back thousands of years. Yet, just like my naani’s family in what is now Pakistani-administered Kashmir (Nikyal), they were all hounded out and those that survived, would now be living in various parts of India.
These mohallas of Rawalpindi or Nikyal for that matter have long ceased to be what they were. You would need to strain your eyes to notice any remnant of an old mandir and this is why I would contend that the whole sub-continent has become agonisingly indigent without coexistence. Our time with naani’s family gave me a refreshing tenor of how the region might have been.
Meeting her siblings almost instantaneously wiped out my naani’s misery and marginalisation of the past sixty-two years. Mourning face to face over their deceased parents and younger brother could almost be described as a luxury they had been deprived of for decades. The happiness and joy of reunion overwhelmed that sorrow like a balm. Naani seemed young again — after all, the three siblings could only visualise each other in the shape and form of when they were last together in their late childhood-early teens. Her voice got inflection, she no longer appeared to be the chronic heart patient that she was. In the time we spent with her family, even her diet and consequently her body frame changed as she finally began to enjoy food. From my childhood, I had always wondered why she ate so little — the reason now became so abundantly obvious.
Accompanying my naani and me on this trip was of course my naana (maternal grandfather), without whose involvement this 22-year-old dream of mine would have remained forlornly unattainable. For him this trip was into ‘traditional enemy territory.’ Thus the Jinnah cap was an essential item of attire. It came as quite a shock to him that Hindus and Muslims coexisted peacefully on the other side and that Muslims had no restrictions on worship. In a matter of days, it dawned on him that when you look beyond religious-cum-national identity, we were all homo-sapiens after all. He was pleasantly surprised that “they eat, laugh and swear like us.” Indeed, the Pahaari (the region of Kashmir that lies to the South and West of the Kashmir vale, traverses the LOC and is made up of Hindus and Muslims) cultural affinity was what he could readily relate to. By the end of our stay he was even waxing lyrical about Mahatma Gandhi’s attempts to keep the nation intact.
Which brings me to a dream that has been taking shape in my head these past few years. Is there scope for a Pahaari inspiration for reunion of the subcontinent? They didn’t cause the division of the sub-continent but suffered much because of it (my naani’s family being a case in point), and could possibly play a key role in reunion.
Alas, reality is much harsher than it should be. South of us in Kashmir, getting Punjabis on either side of the divide to forgive and forget is a mammoth task. Furthermore, India and Pakistan still have difficulty sitting across a table. Negative elements on either side are intent on sustaining separation. In our Pahaari region, if the constraining demands of Indian and Pakistani identity are loosened and crucially, if the legitimate security concerns of our Hindu minority are appropriately addressed, our people would be willing to listen, learn and revise. Evaluating history in a balanced manner and exploring opportunity in a globalised world requires that we embrace, not constrict our diversity.
Even this is asking for a lot. It is not just the tedious cross-LOC application process. Many Hindus on the Indian-administered side are apprehensive about visiting their ancestral homes and relatives, if any, on the Pakistani-administered side, not least because of security concerns. They are also aware that for many people on our side of the divide, being Pakistani necessitates being anti-Hindu (synonymous with anti-India). Unfortunately, no amount of entente between India and Pakistan in the past few years has changed that pernicious perception. For activists such as myself, there is a non-existent institutional framework for developing cross-LOC initiatives, zero space for civil society and on top of that, an endemically corrupt administration whose sustenance lies in maintaining the status quo. That should provide the reader with a reasonable idea of how far we are from the road to progress and reconciliation.
The final morning of our visit across the LOC was extremely painful. Naani’s sister fainted and collapsed as she watched her sister depart. Her nieces wailed and nephews wept incessantly.
Sensa (our home tehsil in district Kotli of Pakistan-administered Kashmir) was only about 70 kilometres away, yet we all knew for reasons more than obvious that this reunion may never happen again.
Nevertheless, Vedic chants and exclamations of Masha-allah and Subhan-allah did, do and will coexist in this region.
( Tanveer Ahmed is a freelance journalist and activist. Email: sahaafi@gmail.com)
Keywords: India, Pakistan, family unison
Comments:
I hope this wonderful article is published in the newspapers of Pakistan also.Mr.Tanveer Ahmed has made me feel proud to be in a country where there are many Pahaari-like regions,of which he has witnessed just one.Such regions can flourish only in the absence of violent attitudes on both sides of the border.Purely on a comparitive basis, Pakistan has a lot of work to do on that front.Perhaps there will be a day of reunion sometime in the future.Insha Allah.
Instances such as this serve as a reminder that Partition was more than a tragedy: it was also a crime against humanity. A reunion on a national scale seems like a pipe dream, although a South Asian Union would probably be the best bet for peaceful, cooperative coexistence. Prejudices and misconceptions exist on both sides of the border; they cannot be wished away, but nor does it make sense to treat them as insuperable barriers. Yes, it's all too easy to whip up Pakistanis and Indians into a frenzy against the other. But it's not all that hard to produce the opposite effect either - it's just that antagonism usually better suits the narrow interests of most politicians. Whenever border controls have temporarily been relaxed - as used to happen on occasion for cricket matches in Lahore, for instance - visitors from across the border have invariably been received with considerable warmth and teary-eyed nostalgia. It goes almost without saying that relations would benefit tremendously were a great deal more people-to-people contact were to be encouraged, or at least permitted: not just family reunions but tourism too. Apprehensions about terrorists and spies may not be misplaced, but the trouble is such elements slip through anyway - it's the likely sources of warmth and goodwill that are blocked out.
Stories like these are what can bring the peoples of Pakistan and India closer together. From my limited knowledge of history, the only way the British controlled much of India was by the divide and rule policy. If I had any animosity it would probably be directed more towards the British for developing such hatred, than to the people it has now bred into.
A wonderful story. Let Pakistani media, especially official media, also broadcast such stories. The media has to dispel the wrong notions about the nations, which it has created all these years.
It is a wonderful story, however, there are so many people who are not so fortunate. I often visit Jammu and the Mirpuri community there. Every one would give their right arm to visit their Janum Boomi but can't do. Same is the case in Mirpur. Why oh why are we kept captive. what do India and Pakistan fear? Let us have daily bus service between Mirpur and Jammu. Let us introduce state subject cards and any one eligible should be able to travel on both sides. Is it asking for too much? Pakistani and Indian media can and should highlight our plight. CBM crossing is way forward but will benefit only the Muslims, what about the Mirpuri Hindus in Jammu?
from ali adalat
I found this article very heart-warming to think that even in this day and time the smallest thing is just about possible. Mashallah I am very happy that your relatives were finally able to reunite. Inshallah I hope that one day peace will be among us all when the division can well and truly be abolished. It will take a few more individuals like you to make it possible.
This is a wonderful story that gives us hope in hard times. I have been fortunate to be married to a Pakistani for 20 years. We have a daughter,Mira Husnara Ahmad, who is, as we somtimes joke,a proud "MUSDU" (Muslim/Hindu).
My husband's family left their home in Gaya District in Bihar during partition. I know how much they still miss their traditions, their language, their neighbors, and their home. My mother-in-law, Husnara Begum, has three daughters in law - an American Jew, a Pakistani Muslim, and an Indian Hindu. She loves each of us and has welcomed us into her home as her own daughters. She has never once asked us to change our faith, our names, or our traditions. The 3 of us are good friends with one another and with our 2 sisters-in-law, although we live apart from one another in New York, Karachi, Montreal, Islamabad, and San Francisco. My parents have three sons-in-law, a Pakistani Muslim, an Indian Hindu, and an African American Baptist Christian. They joke about their "Amar, Akbar, Anthony" status. Our family has visited Pakistan and the Pakistani side of our family has been to India, despite all the hassles of visas and police registration. But, most importantly, our children, the next generation - there are 10 first cousins in all - are proud to be cousins and to be part of a family that believes in an inclusive, tolerant humanity. We dream of a day when India and Pakistan will not need nuclear weapons, armies of millions, and border patrols. We dream of a day when our children can easily celebrate Eid and Diwali with one another and with their extended famlies in both Pakistan and India. We dream of a time when we can give up our American passports that now make it easier to travel to one another's countries.
Its so nice to know about your Naani's reunion with her siblings and the commendable support extended by your grandfather in the whole process. Hope everybody gets blessed with a granddaughter like you.
Reading this article has brought tears to my eyes as the woman this article is about is also my maternal grandmother. As my cousin mentioned above about her eating habits I realised how true that was. She used to only eat one chappati or sometimes even half. We used to listen to her stories about India and how she would love to meet her family again as she was only thirteen when she came to Pakistan. I only came back from Pakistan in mid-June but I wish I stayed longer to see the change in her when she returned from India. I just pray to Allah that somehow my grandmother's family from India gets a chance to come to Pakistan so we could meet them and also see my grandmother happy in our house.
Very moving account. Thank you for sharing your pain and your achievement. I hope we witness in our own lifetime the revival of centuries-old bonds and shared civilisational heritage.
This is an excellent essay. As an American not very familiar with the history of Pakistan and India, or Kashmir, the humanitarian aspect of the essay comes through most powerfully. The observation that when all is said done, the simple truth is that we are all homo sapiens, or rather human beings, is most touching. For sure there is great meaning behind this story that goes far beyond the triumph of one family. For me, it suggests that reunification of people is a way to peace and that political division and nationalism has a much more negative and potent impact upon humanity than might be obvious. Is the solution to remove man-made barriers that unnecessarily separate people and destroy families? The answer is not clear. Still this author has made the suggestion most powerfully, that we must certainly give that possible solution, very serious thought. I thank her.
A great story of hope, consistency and faith in self. I really admire Tanbveer for what he has done for his Naani and her sister and brother. I have my Maanvi who we all call Amma Jee in UK. She cries all the times these days. Her family and siblings are identified and they have spoken on the phone but have not got permission to see each other. I know there are more families like that which need a wider support network to see each other. More openeings in Pahari region of Kashmir must be opened and SOON.
Some time ago I went in search of a house in the town of Jagraon in Punjab. The original inhabitants had gone to Pakistan and then to the U.K. They were very eager to know about their ancestral home in Jagraon. I thought it would be a good idea to check it out. Unfortunately all Muslim properties had been destroyed there. The town did have some Muslims, but they had come after 1947, in search of various jobs that modern Punjab offered. At the end of the search I simply felt very sad for an entire town's population to have been wiped out and no remnants of its original inhabitants. I am sure similar stories would abound in many small towns of Pakistan.
This is a very inspiring story. If only we could undo the partition and become one nation again, that would be the most wonderful thing that can happen to this part of the world!
What a beautiful and inspiring story of the never-ending human desire to embrace love and peace, and to end all partitions that cause loved ones to be needlessly separated. This desire for love and peace is within all of us - or, at least, it should be. Kindest regards to all family members.
Before we were Indians, Pakistanis or even Muslims or Hindus, we were all human beings. It is stories like this that remind us of our true nature.
I am very happy for you and your naani. May your kind increase for you truely are humankind! Hope we all realise the futility of the innumerable fragmenting barriers in this world and unite as human beings with love for all.
It is a human tragedy, but let us NOT forget that the same is taking place here at home in our own backyard. The legal and mental health communities, through the corrupt Family Courts and Divorce Courts are doing exactly the same. As a long stand member of a Father's for Equal Rights movement, I have seen children snatched away from caring and loving families, never to bee seen nor heard from again.Fathers are imprisoned for years over "false allegations". A common practice here at the home the brave. Our constitutional rights are violated on a daily basis and no one cares. The "best interests of the children" are nothing but another "slogan" used to justify their evil actions.We are great at going outside our borders to get a history that happens here at home, with total impunity to the perpetrators. Our hypocrisy knows no boundaries.
It was truly touching to read the question "Is there scope for a Pahaari inspiration for reunion of the subcontinent ?".
I wish it happens some day. Than trying to reconcile with a mistake it is always better to correct it.
Who will take the lead ?
Such a touching and heart warming story. having stayed outside India for many years, i've met many Pakistanis and found them to be very warm people - in fact one of my closest friends was somebody from Pakistan. If the affairs of both the countries had not been in the hands of selfish politicians,there would have been no problems at all.
To Kavita Ramdas - what a lovely family you have! Hope we will have many many more such families in this world.