It is an open secret that mothers whether working or otherwise, literate or not, enjoy a soft corner with all their children, and vice versa. This is an area where no dad can compete with the mom. This may be due to her true and natural concern for the children which the dad may not exhibit openly.
A few years ago, I saw my wife crying incessantly one day, as she opened the letter received from our only son studying abroad. She was upset because the boy had commenced the letter with the words, “My dear appa and amma.”
She phoned him up and accused him that the reversal of the order was a clear sign of the deterioration of his love towards her, as his usual order was: “My dear amma and appa.” My boy finally apologised to her that it was an unintentional error and that such mistakes would not happen again!
There could be a gentleman's agreement between the parents that none of them should interfere whenever the child is being chided by the other. Though both parents may follow the rule meticulously, the mom does it cleverly with a difference. She would make sincere efforts to pacify the rebuked child, while the dad may be careless about it.
Again, though both parents would know that any superfluous flow of money in the hands of the child could be disastrous, the mom sometimes pays the children secretly and wins their goodwill. Such misplaced love led a boy known to me to do his four-year technical course in seven years, spending the extra money on films, drugs, etc.
The duties that the dads face additionally leave them with no or negligible free time to spend with the children, thus making a big difference between the dad and the mom in the eyes of the child. The moms, despite their busy schedule, spend quality time with their children. This is an area where the dads fail.
I have seen the dads taking major decisions on the career of the children. They give guidance, arrange finance and follow up the progress of their wards. Yet, it is a pity that these dads who are full of hopes and ambition fail to win the hearts of their children as the moms do. A boy was seen tarnishing the image of his father saying that his dad was too stingy as he refused to give Rs.5 more for him to join a picnic. But I saw the same father, after many years, giving him Rs 5 lakhs when he bought a new house.
Dads are normally strict with their children and that is probably their main weakness. This strictness is often misconceived as lack of love by children until they themselves become responsible fathers/mothers.
It is well known that a mother is a mother and she cannot be substituted by any one else. A father is a father too, and his presence or absence in the family will certainly make a difference. Thus, the mom and the dad are to be considered as two legs and neither can claim that it is more important.
